JGATOR
Walk-On
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Posts: 98
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« on: September 12, 2011, 03:29:27 EDT » |
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WE WILL BEAT YOU!!!! Did you note that I used all caps and multiple exclamation points? No way you recover from that devastating smack attack.  |
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Stogie Vol
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« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2011, 03:33:29 EDT » |
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As you can see from the calendar, the game is coming up this weekend. I'm sure you are as excited for it as I am, as our cities are rivals and have been for quite some time. Your confidence in your team is high, but rest assured, you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area.
On numerous occasions, you have expressed the conviction that your area's sports team will be victorious. I must admit that every time I hear you make this proclamation, I react with both laughter and disbelief. "Ha!" I say to myself with laughter. "What?!" I say to myself in disbelief. How could you believe that your sports team could beat my sports team? It is clear that yours is inferior in every way.
When the sporting contest begins, the players on your team will be treated as though they are inconsequential. It will be remarkably easy for my team to accumulate more points than yours. There are many reasons for this, starting with the inferior physical attributes of the players representing your area. Strength, speed, and agility are just three of the qualities that the players on the team from your area lack. The players representing my area, on the other hand, have these traits in abundance.
I would not be a bit surprised if the individuals on the team from your area were sexually attracted to members of their own gender. That is how ineffective they are on the field of battle.
Underscoring your team's inferiority is its choice of colors. It is ludicrous to believe that your team's colors inspire either respect or fear. Instead, they appear to have been chosen by someone who is colorblind or, perhaps, bereft of sight altogether. The colors for my team, on the other hand, are aesthetically pleasing when placed in proximity to one another. They are a superior color combination in every way.
While we are on the subject of aesthetics, let us compare the respective facilities in which our teams play. While my team's edifice is blessed with architectural splendor and the most modern of amenities, yours is a thoroughly unpleasant place in which to watch a sporting contest. I know of what I speak, for I once attended a game between our respective teams in your facility. Let's just say the experience left me wishing that my car was inoperable that day due to mechanical problems, rendering it impossible for me to get to your area to attend the game.
If you need another reason why the sporting franchise representing my area is superior, look no further than the supporters for the two sides. Not only are the supporters of the team from my region more spirited, but they are also more intelligent and of finer breeding than you and the rest of your ilk. In addition, the female supporters of the team from my area possess more attractive countenances and figures than yours. Some of the women from my side that I have observed could make a living by posing for pictures for major men's magazines. The women who cheer for your team, I'm afraid, are far too unattractive to do so.
One of the more pathetic aspects of the team from your area is the fact that only people in your immediate area possess an affinity for it. By means of contrast, the team from my area inspires loyalty and affection in individuals who live in many other geographic locations.
To illustrate this point, let me tell a brief story: Recently, I was on vacation in an area of the country far away from my own, and I saw many individuals wearing items of clothing that bore the insignia of my team. I approached one such individual and asked him if he originated from my area. He said no, explaining that he simply liked the team from my area and had for many years. Interestingly enough, during this trip, I saw no clothing or other paraphernalia bearing the insignia of your team.
Do you still doubt that the team from your area is inferior to the one from mine? Just look at our teams' respective histories. In the past, we have defeated you on any number of occasions. Granted, there were times when your team beat my team, but those were lucky flukes.
The day of the game will soon be at hand. And no matter how hard you pray to a higher power or how many foam accoutrements you wear in support of the team from your area, your team will be defeated. We will win and you will lose. This is your fate.
Prepare for humiliation. It shall be upon you at the designated hour.
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tnflower
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« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2011, 03:37:18 EDT » |
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Wow, Stogie pretty much covered it all, he didn't leave much for the rest of us to say.  So, I'll just say "OH YEAH???"  |
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Stogie Vol
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« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2011, 03:42:00 EDT » |
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Wow, Stogie pretty much covered it all, he didn't leave much for the rest of us to say. So, I'll just say "OH YEAH???" I should mention that this not original to me. I believe it is from The Onion. It's a classic, though, and fits this situation perfectly. |
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ReVOLver
Admins
Heisman
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Posts: 43319
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« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2011, 03:44:12 EDT » |
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I should mention that this not original to me. I believe it is from The Onion. It's a classic, though, and fits this situation perfectly.
It is from the Onion and it's hilarious every time it's posted. |
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"I think this is the most important non-important thing in the world." - Actor and Tennessee fan David Keith on Tennessee football
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VinnieVOL
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« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2011, 03:49:55 EDT » |
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Makes me LOL everytime.
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BigOrange Maniac
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« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2011, 03:56:47 EDT » |
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JimmyV
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« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2011, 05:10:41 EDT » |
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OK, time to whip out the big ammo.
Vols are going to lose to the Gators.
There, I said it. Had enough?
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EmerilVOL
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« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2011, 05:14:07 EDT » |
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WE WILL BEAT YOU!!!! Did you note that I used all caps and multiple exclamation points? No way you recover from that devastating smack attack. Smack Talk protocol now defines my associated response to your less than stellar effort at achieving smack..... WWFDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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I made this post and I approved it. EmerilVOL  |
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JGATOR
Walk-On
Offline
Posts: 98
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« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2011, 06:09:29 EDT » |
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As you can see from the calendar, the game is coming up this weekend. I'm sure you are as excited for it as I am, as our cities are rivals and have been for quite some time. Your confidence in your team is high, but rest assured, you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area.
On numerous occasions, you have expressed the conviction that your area's sports team will be victorious. I must admit that every time I hear you make this proclamation, I react with both laughter and disbelief. "Ha!" I say to myself with laughter. "What?!" I say to myself in disbelief. How could you believe that your sports team could beat my sports team? It is clear that yours is inferior in every way.
When the sporting contest begins, the players on your team will be treated as though they are inconsequential. It will be remarkably easy for my team to accumulate more points than yours. There are many reasons for this, starting with the inferior physical attributes of the players representing your area. Strength, speed, and agility are just three of the qualities that the players on the team from your area lack. The players representing my area, on the other hand, have these traits in abundance.
I would not be a bit surprised if the individuals on the team from your area were sexually attracted to members of their own gender. That is how ineffective they are on the field of battle.
Underscoring your team's inferiority is its choice of colors. It is ludicrous to believe that your team's colors inspire either respect or fear. Instead, they appear to have been chosen by someone who is colorblind or, perhaps, bereft of sight altogether. The colors for my team, on the other hand, are aesthetically pleasing when placed in proximity to one another. They are a superior color combination in every way.
While we are on the subject of aesthetics, let us compare the respective facilities in which our teams play. While my team's edifice is blessed with architectural splendor and the most modern of amenities, yours is a thoroughly unpleasant place in which to watch a sporting contest. I know of what I speak, for I once attended a game between our respective teams in your facility. Let's just say the experience left me wishing that my car was inoperable that day due to mechanical problems, rendering it impossible for me to get to your area to attend the game.
If you need another reason why the sporting franchise representing my area is superior, look no further than the supporters for the two sides. Not only are the supporters of the team from my region more spirited, but they are also more intelligent and of finer breeding than you and the rest of your ilk. In addition, the female supporters of the team from my area possess more attractive countenances and figures than yours. Some of the women from my side that I have observed could make a living by posing for pictures for major men's magazines. The women who cheer for your team, I'm afraid, are far too unattractive to do so.
One of the more pathetic aspects of the team from your area is the fact that only people in your immediate area possess an affinity for it. By means of contrast, the team from my area inspires loyalty and affection in individuals who live in many other geographic locations.
To illustrate this point, let me tell a brief story: Recently, I was on vacation in an area of the country far away from my own, and I saw many individuals wearing items of clothing that bore the insignia of my team. I approached one such individual and asked him if he originated from my area. He said no, explaining that he simply liked the team from my area and had for many years. Interestingly enough, during this trip, I saw no clothing or other paraphernalia bearing the insignia of your team.
Do you still doubt that the team from your area is inferior to the one from mine? Just look at our teams' respective histories. In the past, we have defeated you on any number of occasions. Granted, there were times when your team beat my team, but those were lucky flukes.
The day of the game will soon be at hand. And no matter how hard you pray to a higher power or how many foam accoutrements you wear in support of the team from your area, your team will be defeated. We will win and you will lose. This is your fate.
Prepare for humiliation. It shall be upon you at the designated hour.
I'm made of rubber and you're made of glue. This bounces off of me and sticks to you.  I am the "Smack King"!  |
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Ridge Runner
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« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2011, 06:57:56 EDT » |
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Eh, just go put on your jorts and fill another urine balloon..  |
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JGATOR
Walk-On
Offline
Posts: 98
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« Reply #11 on: September 12, 2011, 07:22:00 EDT » |
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Eh, just go put on your jorts and fill another urine balloon.. Last time I filled a balloon with urine I was a a patient in the MICU. Time before that I was a patient in the MICU. Only two times I've done that. I don't own Jorts......anymore  |
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Quasi EVol
Guest
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« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2011, 11:45:45 EDT » |
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WE WILL BEAT YOU!!!! Did you note that I used all caps and multiple exclamation points? No way you recover from that devastating smack attack. May all SwampGas posts be forwarded to your email! And all Lounge posts! Wait a minute, did I just repeat myself?   |
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