Personally, I LOVE "landed on a helmet"

[Black Diamond Vol]

In fact, I think it should become Vol fans' go-to euphemism whenever anything goes wrong in life.  Sorta like Seinfeld did with "yada yada yada":

"I went to a concert the other night, and sometime between the first and second encore, I landed on a helmet.  So now I have the flu".

"Can you come bail me out of jail?"
"How did you end up in jail?"
"Well, I was just driving home from the bar, turned into my neighborhood, and landed on a helmet.  Next thing I know, this cop is pulling me over".

"I went to my boss today to ask for a raise, but as before I could ask, I landed on a helmet.  So he fired me".

Try to work it into your everyday conversation.  Be creative.

[murfvol]

Along with "Life Champions", it will be the remark Butch is remembered for. It's fitting the masses adopt it.

[73Volgrad]

How about...
I had to retire last year. I landed on a helmet and could not drive.

Is that what you are looking for?

Frankly, I am tired of Butchisms and coachspeak. If you cannot take the heat of the media, get out of the kitchen. When asked a question, either answer it truthfully or say I am not going to answer that.

[BanditVol]

I didn't go for two because I landed on a helmet