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Black Diamond Vol
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« on: December 24, 2014, 02:50:38 EST » |
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Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. Nooooooo, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f'ing Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of a-holes this side of the nuthouse.  |
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Tnphil
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« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2014, 03:24:11 EST » |
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Don't go putting any of that on my sled Clarke....I had to have that metal plate in my head removed because every time Catherine revved up the microwave I'd pi$$ my pants and forget who I was for 30 minutes or so.  |
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« Last Edit: December 24, 2014, 03:38:58 EST by Tnphil »
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CornFromAJar
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« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2014, 04:53:31 EST » |
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Next year, I'm gonna have all of you here to dedicate the pool.
I can't swim, Clark.
I know that, Eddie.
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Black Diamond Vol
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« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2014, 05:02:08 EST » |
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Eddie, can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
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Tnphil
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« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2014, 05:55:32 EST » |
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Surprised! Surprised!......I wouldn't be more surprised if I woke up in the morning with my head sewed to the carpet!
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CornFromAJar
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« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2014, 09:52:06 EST » |
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Merry Christmas! Shizzler's full!
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« Last Edit: December 24, 2014, 11:24:35 EST by CornFromAJar »
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golfingvol
Walk-On
 Offline
Posts: 19
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« Reply #6 on: December 24, 2014, 03:09:07 EST » |
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Hey Griswold! Where do you think you are going to put a tree that big?
Bend over and I'll show you.
You've got a lot of nerve talking to me that way.
I wasn't talking to you.
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volsboy
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« Reply #7 on: December 24, 2014, 04:05:33 EST » |
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I pledge allegiance to the flag............
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volsboyinsodak
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midtnvol
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« Reply #8 on: December 25, 2014, 01:55:12 EST » |
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She falls down a well, eyes go crossed. Gets kicked by a mule they go back to normal. I don't know.
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GreggO
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« Reply #9 on: December 25, 2014, 01:27:35 EST » |
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A one year membership to the jelly of the month club..................
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CornFromAJar
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« Reply #10 on: December 25, 2014, 10:49:57 EST » |
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Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here...with a big ribbon on his head! And I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d**kless, hopeless, heartless, fat-a$$ed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey shizzle he is! Hallelujah! Holy shizzle! Where's the Tylenol?
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